Hell, p.31
Hell, page 31
After her passage, the congregation knit together once more, and Tatiana could hear Jack, quietly conversing with another man directly behind them.
“Boy, love to have a piece of that, eh?”
His companion was nonplussed, “Are you mad? I’ll never understand what you see in that… woman. She’s gone wrong I tell you. Why, I ‘eard a rumor she was caught out at the Runciter farm not two weeks past… coupling with the ‘orses…”
Tat shuddered, trying to ignore them. Even amidst the gravity of the moment, the conjured image inspired a deep disgust in her. Jack, however, was not similarly dissuaded.
“You ever seen a woman couple with an ‘orse before? S’bloody brilliant…”
Yesod lifted her head in anger, “That’s my sister Jack! Elizabeth is still in there somewhere and I’ll not have you speak that way about her!”
Jack sheepishly hung his head at this upbraiding. “My god, I’m sorry, Miriam, I got carried away. Tis the wine talking…”
“My name is Yesod now.” She replied with a glare, hinting at a deep, unspoken history between them. As Jack excused himself and made his way back to the bar, they all refocused their attention on Netzach as she began the ritual in earnest.
After relieving herself of her burden, she secured it to an iron ring set in the ground by way of a length of rope. Approaching the altar, she removed the skull mask, placing it atop the myriad bones, crowning the macabre shrine in distinctly pagan splendour. Turning back to her captive audience, treating them to a glimpse of eyes altogether devoid of humanity. A shocking realization washed over her; Netzach and Yesod were not merely sisters...
They were identical twins.
The corrupted sephirah began a slow circuit around the terrible tabernacle, marking the cardinal directions with complex gestures and incoherently mumbled words.
“She’s setting up the cross… wards. She means to attempt a manifestation!” Yesod observed, stress causing her voice to crack in disbelief.
“The Beast reeks of death.” Hod added.
“It has entered Nigredo, the first stage of alchemical enlightenment. The symbolic death evinced as a marked abandoning of entrainment with the ineluctable modality of the physical. The spirit and body must be consumed by oblivion, impurities expunged before entering the blinding resurrection of Albedo.”
Though Tat fathomed only a fraction of the words Yesod was saying, it was clear that it was helping her to speak. To attempt to comprehend her sister’s condition by quantifying it with words and concepts she could understand.
Circumnavigation complete, Netzach knelt by the goat, whispering into its floppy ear, placating the tiny beast. With one hand she reached up and grasped a chitinous horn, while the other slipped behind her back, unsheathing a silver dagger secreted beneath her skirt.
She’s going to kill the goat!
With mounting concern Tat looked around at the rapt crowd, was nobody going to stop her? From the look of it, no one had any intention of stopping anything. The faces she searched all bore similar expressions of curious anticipation. She cast about for even one person willing to stand up to this monster.
There was Binah and Geburah, watching intently, sipping from their wine glasses as if this was perfectly normal. There, Tiphareth and Malkuth, stifling laughter over a shared joke. Why, even Hod and Yesod appeared content to let an innocent creature die, or at least unable to stop it. Was she herself going to stand aside and let this happen?
In the end, she did, and she hated herself for it. The knife flashed once, blood cascading from the slit throat. Tat choked in shock at the sight of Netzach wrenching the head back and drinking deeply from the wound. Oblivious as the viscous liquid streamed down her torso, coating her breasts in sticky, red ichor.
As the poor creature faded into death, Netzach laid the pathetic carcass at the foot of the altar, where the remaining blood pooled around her feet. As she dipped her fingers, using the vital fluid to mark her body with blasphemous sigils, a guttural eight syllable chant was begun and sustained. The voice issuing forth was not the host’s true voice, but a sepulchral, animal sonance completely unlike any tongue spoken by civilized humanity.
“Uruku alal idimmu, uruku alal idimmu…”
The vibrations of her unearthly ululations had an immediate effect on the people. Those nearest stepped back out of obvious fear. While those at the back stepped forward out of a misguided inquisitiveness. The end effect being a general tightening and cleaving together. Bodies closed around Tat in the darkness, fanning the flames of her already colossal anxiety.
She was now pressed up against Yesod who forthwith turned and seized her, “If you are an angel, I beg of you, stop this. Bring my sister back to me!”
“Shhhh, shhhh, all will be well, Kether and Chokmah are monitoring Yetzirah.” Hod assured her.
Through the thickening haze of incense, Netzach was becoming hard to see, squatting prostrate before the altar, intensifying the chant over the body of the sacrifice.
“Uruku alal idimmu! Uruku alal idimmu!”
with a sickening crack the Beast broke one of the long, ribbed horns free of its moorings, holding it up to the altar, as if for a blessing. Tat was caught off guard by the sheer strength required to accomplish such a feat, how could she ever hope to vanquish such a creature?
Dipping her hand once again she coated the horn in blood, rubbing it sensuously between her breasts in a primitive mockery of seduction as she lay down before the altar; head resting upon her sacrifice as she spread her legs…
At this point Yesod could take no more, breaking away from Hod’s arms, pushing through the press without regard. Hod started to follow her, then changed her mind, burying her face in her hands.
Tat refused to look, but judging from the moans and heavy breathing that punctuated the continuing chant, it was obvious what she was doing with the horn. A deep feeling of revulsion settled over her. A feeling made all the worse when she realized that even if poor Elizabeth did manage to reclaim her body, the stigma upon her would be insurmountable, there was no coming back from this...
Cries of pleasure echoed through the hall as Netzach approached the climax of this lewd performance. Ringing in her ears, to be recalled only in nightmares, the chant grew to a shriek.
“URUKU ALAL IDIMMUUUUUU!”
An inexplicably powerful, hot sulphur wind blew through the hall, snuffing out every light save the spectral, blue emanation of the burning antlers. Plunging the gathering into near complete darkness. She could feel the crowd stiffen in fear, torn between two extremes as many voices rang out in the gloom. Jostled and nearly thrown to the ground as the crowd shifted on its feet, joining her own voice to the hellish chorus of confusion.
Then she saw it.
Saw wasn’t the best word. Something was definitely there, a shapeless, amorphous presence, but it wasn’t intrinsically visible, solely perceivable through it’s displacement of the thick clouds of smoke. The overall impression was of something enormous straining at the bonds of reality, seeking to enter the world from outside…
An oppressive pressure enveloped her, manifesting as a harsh buzzing in her ears. As if a swarm of locusts sought to make a home inside her skull. The stench of brimstone, clogging her lungs, burning her eyes as she did battle with the worst fear of her life.
Abruptly the main doors were thrown wide, a blinding arc of pure, white light bathing the room as Kether, terrible in her wrath, arrived, fashionably late.
“That will be quite enough of that.” She said, calm and reserved as ever.
When the light fell upon Netzach, the Beast screamed as if experiencing physical pain. Hiding behind the altar, cowering in apparent fear, far more animal than human. Robbed of the trappings of ritual and mystery, it appeared weak, almost pathetic. It was an odd juxtaposition, seeing a creature of darkness, dragged out into the light.
Though it was nearly impossible to look at her, Tat was astonished to find that the light seemed to emanate directly from Kether herself. For a split second before that fantastic radiance departed, Tat saw the apparent dimensions of the invading entity thrown into stark relief. It was something she was never going to forget...
After the light faded, Kether drew herself up to her full height, and promptly collapsed, saved only by Chokmah’s quick reflexes. There was an audible collective gasp and those closest rushed to offer aid. After a tense moment she was able to regain her feet, advancing on the altar.
“I’m going to go find Yessi. Go to Kether.” Hod said, giving Tat a quick hug before departing.
All around her, people were dispersing, many laughing in that queer, human way people do in order to protect their fragile minds from the ultimate terror of an impersonal Universe. Candles and torches were lit and a concerted effort was made to return the gathering to its former, festive mood.
As she approached the altar, all the sephirah, save Hod and Yesod, were present and accounted for. It was her first time seeing them all together, and it was a truly impressive sight. As if when assembled, they became much more than the sum of their parts.
Tat hung back, trying to stay unnoticed as Kether and Chokmah succeeded in calming Netzach down. An old threadbare robe was placed about her shoulders to cover her nakedness, and everyone relaxed, an apparent crisis averted. Seeing her for the first time under somewhat normal circumstances, movements appearing slow and deliberate, almost insect-like as she faced her sisters, awaiting judgment.
“Tatiana, be not afraid, come here.”
As Kether called out to her, all the sephirah turned to look, parting so she could approach. Under their scrutinous gaze, Tat felt the urge to flee rise within her. Upon seeing Netzach’s face twisted in an unnerving fusion of terror and rage, that urge became nearly insurmountable. As if sensing this, Binah, Malkuth and Geburah moved to block her retreat, while Tiphareth took her arm, politely escorting her into battle.
“Do not fear darling, this is the reason you’re here,” Tiphareth whispered. “Kether wants you two to meet. It will not harm you, especially with all of us here.”
These words meant nothing to Tat, absolutely convinced she was being marched to her doom. Netzach was now well aware of her presence, clearly agitated, fixing her with an unrepentant glare.
“That is simply not the way an organic lifeform comports herself publicwise,” Kether lectured, as if to a child. “You are here for one reason, and if you can’t treat the body of our sister with care and respect, you will be exorcised with extreme prejudice, is that what you desire?”
Netzach did not reply, her eyes never wavering in the intense appraisal of her adversary. As Tat neared, Kether threw up her hands in exasperation. “I can see there is no use in employing logic when speaking to an animal.”
At this point there was a small commotion as Hod and Yesod returned to the group. Yesod, having mastered her emotions, appeared grim yet determined. Turning back to Netzach, it was uncanny how much they resembled one another…
The attack came with such fury and violence that Tat was caught totally off guard; in the span of an instant, forced to fight for her life amidst a whirlwind of teeth and nails. They hit the ground hard, Tat gasping for lost breath as she futilely sought to protect herself.
A hemorrhage of memory, discovered under a bed and flushed out, kicking and screaming, triggered a burst of adrenaline and she joined the fight with redoubled acrimony. Giving nearly as good as she got, she suffered a nasty scratch and a shallow bite on her collarbone before Malkuth and Tiphareth managed to pry them apart; Netzach kicking and spitting like something feral, wild. A string of glottal language issued forth as she was finally restrained with the help of Binah and Geburah.
Hod and Yesod rushed to Tat’s side. Dazed and breathless from the assault, it was a moment or two before she was able to regain her feet. Yesod interposed herself between them in case Netzach wrestled free.
“Are you okay, Tatiana?” Kether asked. “I failed to prepare for that as a possible outcome. Never did I think it would go so far as to attack you. I sincerely apologize.” Without waiting for a reply, she turned away. “Gebbi, what is it saying?”
Geburah looked annoyed, as if restraining a wild, shouting demon was one thing, but to comprehend its foul vernacular as well? “It’s archaic… sounds like a mother tongue linking Sumerian and Phoenician, I can only get one word out of ten. Tis surely no blessing though.”
As if seeking to make the interpreter’s job easier, the Beast lapsed into broken English, its preternaturally deep voice grinding like a millstone in her mind...
“Listen carefully vessel for Eater of Worlds! I have seen your coming, portents surcease of endless aeons. I know you, Asherah Shekinah! Returned from labyrinth of time! Preying upon prayers!”
Preying upon prayers...
“Girls, get her out of here, now!” Kether snapped.
Before they could carry out the order, Netzach, in one swift movement, extricated herself from their grasp, and with head held high, marched out of the room, decisively slamming the door behind her.
After a moment Chokmah broke the relieved silence, “Did everyone hear that?” She sounded stunned, and judging by the looks Tat was getting, she wasn’t alone.
Vessel for the Eater of Worlds.
“Just like an inorganic being, full of lies, deceit and bullshit.” Kether was having none of it. “Pay her no heed Seldeen, the ramblings of an alien mind. Now let’s get back, it’s nearly dinn…”
Before she could leave, her way was blocked by a tearfully confrontational Yesod. “This has to end Kether, one way or another. I can’t take this anymore.”
“I know Yesod, I am truly sorry for all that’s happened.”
“Sorry? Sorry won’t bring Elizabeth back. Sorry won’t restore her lost humanity… Apologies cannot return that which is lost. Only one thing can do that.”
For a moment, Kether stood tall, defiant, before a coughing fit crumpled her over in pain. Tat took note of the sympathetic looks she received, even the anger in Yesod’s eyes softened momentarily. Something was wrong with her...
She recovered herself, wiping away a trickle of blood from the corner of her mouth.
“Fulfillment of the contract.” Kether whispered.
Dinner was to be served in the adjacent dining chamber across the main hall. The extent of the underground architecture of the Tree of life continued to impress Tat, there seemed no end to the warren of chambers cradled beneath the busy London streets. To think that her Grandfather designed and built this place… even the long shadow he cast from beyond the grave was intimidating.
The great double doors were thrown wide and the guests began to casually make their way into the dining hall in twos and threes amidst a torrent of garrulous chatter. As she filed toward the door, escorted by no less than five sephirah, Tiphareth, Hod, Yesod, Binah and Geburah all refusing to leave her side, Tat reflected on the turn this night had taken relative to her expectations. The fears she’d held so close, now as nothing to her. Nobody in the nameless, faceless crowd had even acknowledged her existence, let alone approached her. True, she’d been fairly occupied since her arrival, but nobody would even meet her eyes. Surely for the best, yet still puzzling.
Long oak tables ran the length of the candlelit room, already heavy-laden with a prodigious banquet. Never before had Tat beheld such an opulent spread. Not even the Czar’s Palace had boasted a meal this extravagant. The rich smell of a dozen roasted geese inspired Tat’s stomach to clench with nausea. A shame that eating was the last thing on her mind at the moment. The guests swarmed the room, the bench style seating beginning to fill as her group made their way towards the head of the room where the sephirah occupied their own table.
As they approached, Kether and Chokmah stopped them. “I’m sorry Tatiana, we must preserve the energy balance at the table, the place settings have been meticulously worked out. I’m afraid you must eat with the other guests.”
Hod was the first to respond, with outrage, “No!”
The rest of her coterie were quick to follow suit, with Geburah alone being the voice of reason. “Why can’t she take Chesed’s Seat?”
“Well, she’s not Chesed, is she?” Chokmah shot back.
Tat wondered who they were talking about, she thought she’d met all the sephirah…
“Who’s Chesed?” She demanded.
“Usually one of us, but we don’t have a Chesed right now.” Hod answered.
Tiphareth broke in drawing attention back to herself, “She fulfilled her obligations before Hod arrived. We sent for a replacement, but she died en route from America. A pity, I so adore Americans.” Draining her wine glass.
“Now we have another replacement coming all the way from Jaipur, I can’t wait to meet her…” Hod interjected, trying to keep the pendulum of conversation from swinging back to her rival.
Decisively, Tiphareth took Tat’s arm in hers. “Kether, if Tatiana sits with the other guests... then so do we.” Tat caught Malkuth rolling her eyes at this. Kether paused, clearly at a loss at this sudden mutiny. That was all the approval Tiphareth needed and they brushed past her.
“Okay, but she must sit only in Chesed’s seat. They are clearly marked…” Kether, reluctant to relinquish her authority, called after them.
Tiphareth located her own seat, marked with the girl’s names on tiny cards, then checked those next to her. “Well this won’t do at all.” She muttered, taking the one to her left and throwing it to the ground, pulling out the chair for her. As Tat claimed her seat, she glanced down and saw the name on the card was Netzach. Hod was next to break the rules, picking up Malkuth’s card and throwing it into the air, taking the seat next to Tat with a mischievous grin.
From the head of the table, Kether voiced her displeasure, “No, girls, now really…” Giving up after seeing that nobody was listening. Defeated, she wandered off to help coordinate seating for the increasingly rowdy crowd. Malkuth took the seat directly across from Tat, marked Chesed, while Binah, Chokmah, Geburah and Yesod filled out the table in more or less their prescribed seats; banishing the absent Netzach to the foot of the table, opposite Kether, as far from the rest of them as possible.
